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Church Wishes it was Dungeons and Dragons

You walk into a home. A woman is unconscious on the floor. A strong breeze chills your cheeks and you realize that, in addition to the sounds of the road behind you, you can hear children playing basketball in the back yard. Toxic fumes burn your nostrils and lungs. You hear a loud thump upstairs as a baby begins to scream. What do you do? Did you think of an answer? If so, gotcha!!! You just played Dungeons and Dragons . I know, right? That isn’t what I thought the game was like either. I always had this image in my head that playing D & D was more like pretending you were following along as your math teacher used a convoluted Lord of the Rings analogy to explain derivation; all while a halitosis infested gamer-gater asks you if you have a date to the prom. But recently, I have started playing the game and I want to tell you what it is like. I also want to ask you, from the bottom of my heart, to do me a big favor . We will get to that later. About