Diligently Seek

I'm about to leave on a road trip to Utah right now, traveling a road to the heart of a world I have left and that I despise. A road I travel too often. I'm going there to mourn the death of my cousin Meda . http://m.legacy.com/obituaries/deseretnews/obituary.aspx?n=meda-maureen-barker&pid=188033861&referrer=0&preview=True#sthash.fPspQM5J.gbpl I'm sad and scared. I will be in the car with my family who are all still in the church. I'll be in my jeans and Star Wars t-shirt and they'll all be in white button downs, ties, black slacks, and repressive dresses. I'll be wishing I could have a drink and share a buzz and tears with those who share my grief, they will be eating heavy starches and sickly sugars and convincing each other they should not be sad. That is what Mormons try to teach other at times like this. Have an eternal perspective. She is with our other dead loved ones. We will see her again and it will be